My Top 40 Albums

Loosely inspired by E4's Top 100 albums....and in no particular order :)

1. Beck - Odelay
2. Pulp - A Different Class
3. Outkast - Speakerboxxx
4. Red Hot Chilli Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik
5. The Libertines - The Libertines
6. Black Sabbath - Paranoid
7. Blur - Parklife
8. Radiohead - The Bends
9. Alanis Morissette - Jagged Little Pill
10. Oasis - (What's The Story) Morning Glory?
11. The Beatles - The White Album
12. Nirvana - Nevermind
13. Radiohead - Pablo Honey
14. Snow Patrol - Final Straw
15. Razorlight - Up All Night
16. Ash - Intergalactic Sonic 7s
17. Rasmus - Dead Letters
18. The Bravery - The Bravery
19. The Futureheads - The Futureheads
20. James Blunt - Back To Bedlam
21. Damien Rice - O
22. Goldfrapp - Supernature
23. Placebo - Black Market Music
24. Green Day - Nimrod
25. The White Stripes - White Blood Cells
26. Do Me Bad Things - YES!
27. The Killers - Hot Fuss
28. Foo Fighters - Colour & The Shape
29. Papa Roach - Getting Away With Murder
30. Good Charlotte - The Young And The Hopeless
31. Catatonia - International Velvet
32. Muse - Origin Of Symmetry
33. Busted - A Present For Everyone
34. Starsailor - Love Is Here
35. Maroon 5 - Songs About Jane
36. McFly - Room On The 3rd Floor
37. Suede - Coming Up
38. Garbage - Beautiful Garbage
39. Savage Garden - Affirmation
40. Beck - Guero

Merseyside Mourns Dead Chicken

Merseyside police have ordered the local community to "stop grieving" after Liverpudlians flocked to deposit flowers, cards and teddy bears in tribute to a dead chicken found in an alleyway. According to the BBC, one card read: "RIP Little Baby. Safe in the arms of Jesus. From someone who is a loving mother xxxx."

A spokeswoman for Merseyside police explained to the BBC: "It seems a member of the public saw the remains of a foetus, which possibly resembled a human foetus, and called us. We cordoned off the area to investigate, as we would with any possible suspicious death, but it became apparent it was not a human foetus. The flowers and cards are obviously the result of local gossip, but we can assure people that the remains were not human."

Accordingly the Old Bill on Monday issued a "stop grieving, it's only a chicken" edict. The BBC rather unfairly concludes by noting that Spectator editor Boris Johnson last year attracted a hailstorm of flack for condemning Liverpudlians as "hooked on grief". ®

Lad Mag's Advert Boob

A lad-mag has been rapped over an advert inviting readers to "win a boob job for your girlfriend".
Offended members of the public complained the competition in ZOO could result in women being "co-erced" into having surgery.
The Advertising Standards Authority said the advert was irresponsible because breast surgery was potentially harmful.
An article in ZOO said the "boob job" was worth £4,000.
It continued: "Make your lady a more rounded individual with our feel-good, selfless, world-first competition.
"ZOO is giving away a £4,000 boob job for your partner, and a £1,000 cash prize for you!"
The double page article featured photos of the model Jordan before and after breast surgery.
A side panel headed "Choose your Chest" included photos of eight pairs of breasts ranging from an A cup to a G cup.
A spokesman for ZOO said the magazine would make it clear in future that the £4,000 winner's prize was a "fund" which could be spent on whatever he or she wanted.
He pointed out that two other complaints were not upheld by the ASA.

Question

If you were a superhero, what would your outfit be like?

I'm Drunk

Nuff said

Top 10 Bands I've Seen Live

1) Catatonia
2) Do Me Bad Things
3) The Darkness
4) Ash
5) Fightstar
6) Manic Street Preachers
7) The Zutons
8) Razorlight
9) The Kills
10) Kaiser Chiefs

Coming soon: the mp3 breast implant

Here's an appealing thought: an mp3 breast implant which will allow surgically-enhanced girls to store and play back their entire music collections from their 36DD assets.

We kid you not. According to UK tabloid the Sun - ever watchful for life-enhancing technology, especially when it's got a big jubs angle - BT Laboratories bod Ian Pearson reckons breast implants may as well do something useful if they're to be permanently installed, rather than just looking decorative.

Accordingly, he's proposed sticking an mp3 player in one dug, and a storage chip in the other. Quite how playback is achieved we're not quite sure*, but it may well involve the listener burying his or her head in the cleavage for a full stereo effect.

Likewise, God alone knows how you select tracks, but breasts do come equipped with a pleasing alternative to the iPod's selector wheel. We can imagine the scenario: Girlfriend: "Oi, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Boyfriend: "Hold on, I'm just scrolling down to Stairway to Heaven."


*Oh, OK then - Ian Pearson said "flexible plastic electronics would sit inside the breast. A signal would be relayed to headphones, while the device would be controlled by Bluetooth using a panel on the wrist". We prefer our solutions, naturally.

Top 10 Reasons Why I Shouldnt Be Allowed To Work In An Off Licence

1) i
2) want
3) to
4) drink
5) all
6) the
7) alcohol
8) in
9) the
10) shop!

Top 10 Annoying Songs

1) vanilla - no way no way
2) cheeky girls - we are the cheeky girls
3) kylie minogue - i should be so lucky
4) baz luhrman - everbody's free (to wear sunscreen)
5) las ketchup - the ketchup song
6) DJ Otzi - hey baby
7) gwen stefani - hollaback girl
8) the fast food rockers - the fast food song
9) anything by the crazy frog!
10) s club 7 - bring it all back

anymore ideas - thats what the comments are for! :)

Wind Vaccine For Sheep

Researchers in Australia have developed a vaccine that reduces the methane gas emissions from sheep and cattle. Methane is a potent greenhouse gas and is produced by protozoa in the stomachs and intestines of these grass-eating animals. The vaccine primes the immune system to recognise and attack the protozoa and tests have shown that it can reduce emissions by 8 %.

Top 10 Crazy Cures For A Cold

1) smother your chest with mustard
2) eat raw garlic
3) make a honey and onion cough elixir
4) put a hairless dog on your bare chest
5) gargle with toothpaste
6) eat pigeon soup (beats chicken i suppose!)
7) mix together goose grease and turpentine then rub it on your chest
8) get drunk!
9) diffuse oil of oregano
10) increase the moisture of the air around you

Tagged

i was tagged by clew to list 5 songs im lovin at the mo - so here they are!

1) mr brightside - the killers
2) the great escape - we are scientists
3) arctic monkeys - i bet you look good on the dancefloor
4) HIM - wings of a butterfly
5) wisemen - james blunt

6 people i would like to do this:

1) the steve
2) spinning girl
3) devil mood
4) november rain
5) valerene
6) kunstemaecker

PS and a special number 7) Chris Bate (see, if you complain this is what you get!)