Bum Love!

this time i am going to steal a game from the steve (sorry! love you!)

think of a song with the word "love" in it - then replace the word "love" with the word "bum"!
(e.g. "bum lift us up where we belong"!)

In My Pants!

here is a fun/silly thing to do! please add a comment stating what song you are currently listening or the last song you listened to followed by the words: "in my pants". for example, mine would be "Be Yourself in my pants"!

Muff Dock!

Our regular Gizmondo feature - provided by those lovely people down at Tech Digest - regularly showcases a "Obligatory iPod Accessory of the Week"; most recently the Audi-Oh Vibrator which converts your iPod into a musical orgasmatron.
Well, you'll need somewhere to rest you iPod after a hard core session, and where better than the oooh-er-missus Muff Dock?
This little bit of iPod heaven is described as a "Bean Bag for your iPod", and allows you to "use your existing power cord while keeping your iPod well supported in an upright comfy position".
It's all very silly, but not so silly that the thing has not been selling like hotcakes. Indeed, the Muff Dock is temporarily out of stock after muff-hungry iPod users dived enthusiastically on the product.
For the record, the Muff Dock goes out at $19 and should be reavailable shortly. Tasty. ®

No Crazy Frog Kids

There's some good news today for anyone who is not a great fan of Crazy Frog - iTunes across the pond has seen to it that the little bugger will not be able to reproduce, thereby sparing future generations his particular brand of amphibious merriment.
Yup, Crazy Frog joined the US iTunes roster yesterday morning, but by the time he got off the plane in California, prudish WASP elements in Cupertino had chopped off the little guy's wedding tackle.
On the right, is the unexpurgated Crazy Frog letting it all hang out in the UK. Of course, there was a bit of a rumpus in Middle England about CF's chopper, but the powers that be decided to let it pass on the grounds that it was no big deal. The photo demonstrates this quite nicely. Above, however, is the todger-free US version:

The World's Oldest Dildo (!)

German scientists are tickled pink after unearthing one of the world's oldest sculpted phalluses - 20cm of polished siltstone lovingly created around 28,000 years ago.
The stone schlong was discovered in Hohle Fels Cave near Ulm, Swabia, by a Tübingen University team. Professor Nicholas Conard, from the university's snappily-named department of Early Prehistory and Quaternary Ecology, explained the excitment to the BBC thus: "Female representations with highly accentuated sexual attributes are very well documented at many sites, but male representations are very, very rare."
Indeed, although other examples of male genitalia - from France and Morocco - predate the Ulm member, to have "any representation of male genitalia from this time period is highly unusual".
There may be a good reason for this - the German sausage bears the scars of having been used to knap flints, and was reassembled from 14 fragments. Despite this abuse, and in a delicious leap of imagination, Conard speculates that the life-size member may have been used as a prehistoric sex toy. As he suggestively notes: "It's highly polished."
Those interested in the sex lives of our distant ancestors will be able to cop an eyeful of the Hohle Fels phallus when it goes on show at a Blaubeuren prehistoric museum exhibition entitled "Ice Art - Clearly Male". ®

100 Facts

borrowed this idea from the toothfairy (thanks!). here's 100 facts about me. sorry if they seem unimportant or just plain weird - probably means im running out of ideas!

1) i dislike my job
2) i drink far too much alcohol (although how much is too much? hmmm...)
3) i really fancy the actors ioan grufudd....
4) hugh grant....
5) brad pitt...
6)jonny depp....
7) and loads of others!
8) i am nearly 20 years old (next month - party time. woohoo!)
9) i smoke
10) i can speak 3 languages (besides english) - french, german and spanish. although im not very fluent!
11) i have got quite low self confidence
12) i am very indecisive (no im not...yes i am...no im not)
13) i love music. fave types are rock and indie, but i'll listen to anything once!
14)i love speedway - so gutted i missed the british grand prix this year
15) i am a huuuuuuuuge fan of my chemical romance.....
16) greenday.......
17 fightstar......
18) and the foo fighters, to name but a few!
19) i cant drive
20) i hate golf
21) i have a magazine addiction!
22) i hate wearing shoes....
23) ...but i love buying them!
24) i would love to live by the seaside
25) i know this really cool guy called 'the steve' (i was bullied into putting that one in!)
26) i love dying my hair different colours
27) i am know at work as "the oracle".
28) i love irish accents
29) my favourite place to go on holiday (out of the places i have been so far) is spain
30) i would love to visit ireland....
31) italy......
32)russia......
33) and japan
34) i hate my nose! its too big
35) i own an ipod which i carry everywhere with me
36) im a huuuuuuuge harry potter fan (the books, not the movies)
37 i hate fish ( the sight, feel, smell and taste of them!)
38) i dont like feet
39) my fave colour is purple
40) i hate getting rained on! it causes a major hair-mare
41) i find history intersting (even studied it at 'a' level)
42) my least fave subject at school was maths because i was crap at it
43) my favourite tv shows are will and grace....
44)the simpsons.....
45) big brother.......
46) and wondershowzen
47) i used to work in a library.....
48)and before that i was a papergirl!
49) i have just been told by one of my friends that im sometimes very moody....
50) and i can be quite secretive.....
51) and im very messy! (she obviously loves me loads!)
52) im addicted to blogging!
53) i only still speak to one person i went to primary school with.
54) i would have loved to see nirvana doing a live gig
55) i would love to see the killers doing a live gig
56) i love singing - but i cant!
57) i cant read music
58) i refuse to keep a diary as my parents once found mine when i was younger
59) i love playing badminton
60) i wish i didnt have a midlands accent
61) my dream job would be to be a linguist - if only i was more fluent with languages
62) currently my fave song is "you're beautiful" by james blunt.
63) my fave food is pasta
64) the majority of my wardrobe is black
65) i wish i was more creative
66) i have never been arrested (touch wood!)
67) i like football....
68) and i support aston villa
69) i love james bond movies....
70) apart from the ones starring roger moore. god hes so annoying!
71) if i won the lottery the first thing i would do would be to buy a big house
72) im allergic to rabbits
73) i am scared of thunder (stupid - i know it cant hurt me!)
74) i love downloading music from t'internet
75) my fave comedians are lee evans and peter kay
76) my fave radio station is kerrang!
77) im a terrible cook!
78) i love trying new things
79) i hate having my photo taken
80) i love hot sunny weather....
81) because i hate being without a tan!
82) my ideal car would be a mini cooper.....
83) if i couldnt afford the chaufer driven limousine!
84) i hate soaps (apart from eastenders)
85) i used to be addicted to watching top of the pops
86) i am running out of ideas!
87) i am bored!
88) i always cry at soppy films. although i never used to!
89) i hate snakes....
90) and spiders!
91) i like eating cereal for tea!
92) i like drinking tea without milk!
93) my fave tv show when i was a child was thomas the tank engine
94) i love disney movies
95) i cant sleep with the light on....
96) although i never used to be able to sleep without the light on!
97) i dislike spicy food
98) i wish i could play guitar
99) i like playing xbox games
100) i cant believe i managed a hundred facts!

Mmmm...yummy!

bit blurry - but still gorgeous!

Weird!!

Giant mice are eating huge albatross chicks alive, gnawing at them for days until the birds die.
The mice, on Gough Island in the South Atlantic, have grown to three times the size of those in the UK and attack at night.

Expert Ross Wanless said "Once one mouse has attacked a chick, the blood seems to attract others. They gnaw into the chick's body, create a gaping wound and the chick weakens then dies over several days."

London Suspect Shooting

meetings today are being held between the british and brazilian foreign ministers for a further investigation into the shooting of this apparently innocent man. the suspect was brazilian, 27 years old. on the day in question, he had emerged from a house that was under surveilance after the recent bombing attacks in london and caught a bus to stockweell bus station. here he was stopped by police officers, he bolted down an escalator and tried to board a train, whereupon he was shot five times in the head by one of the police officers.

does anyone else agree this is wrong? i mean, first of all, that guy could have been innocent (which he apparently is), but he was shot simply because he looked suspicious. secondly, if he was a suspect, would it not have been best to interrogate him in order to attempt to obtain further information?

Very Tired

it is saturday and i have been at work since 8:15am.... so tired....head is still in bed. or at least it wishes it was! ah well - day off tomorrow! i am going to sleep all morning, i hope

Last Attempt...

Two convicts are locked in a cell. There is an unbarred window high up in the cell. No matter if they stand on the bed or one on top of the other they can't reach the window to escape. They then decide to tunnel out. However, they give up with the tunneling because it will take too long. Finally one of the convicts figures out how to escape from the cell. What is his plan?

Try This One!

A guy bet his neighbor $100 dollars that his dog could jump higher than a house. Thinking this not possible, the neighbor took the bet an lost.Why did he lose the bet?

Riddle Again!

just to keep you all going! lol

What God never sees, what the king seldom sees, and what we see every day. What is it?

Danger Danger!!

my life is in mortal peril! ok maybe im being a little melodramtic. but im certainly feeling fearful for my eyes! seems an origami website is becoming popular at work so everyone is trying to make different types of paper aeroplanes to see how far they will go, how fast they will go etc. and they are just being flung at random around the place! i keep having to duck! think i might invest in a hard hat and some goggles...

Harry Potter 6

has anyone else finished reading this yet? everyone i know only seem to be about half way through and im dying to discuss it with someone without being shouted at for giving away the ending!!!

Big Brother

havnt commented on this yet its gotta be done. sorry folks!

previous big brother's have had a certain level of bitchiness within the house, but this year - wow! kemal (hope i spelled that right!) and craig being worse than the girls! kemal at least seems quite harmless but craig is annoying. i wanted him to win at one point but hes gone over to the dark side now.... i blame maxwell! eugene is funny in that whenever he speaks, everyone else ignores him, never thought much about orlaith untill the last week, when i discovered shes as bitchy as the rest! trying to come between kemal and makosi was a huuuuuuuuuuuge mistake. it set off some interesting fireworks tho! science is annoying but amusing, derek is becoming more likeable but his snobbery still pisses me off sometimes, makosi is annoying, anthony is kinda cute but sooooooo vain, and kemal is sweet - my fave to win! im sure ive forgotten someone.... never mind!

Alcohol

"the cause of... and solution to... all of lifes problems"

New Saying

"robert's your father's brother"!

instead of bob's your uncle! and

"ive had bigger splinters mate"

for getting back at hateful ex boyfriends with a "little problem" ; )

Riddle This...

How many sides does a circle have?

Ok Try This One...

A man was born in 1955. He's alive and well today at age 33. How is this possible?

Riddle

A farmer and his hired help were carrying grain to the barn. The farmer carried one sack of grain and the hired help carried two sacks. Who carried the heavier load and why?

How Unfair?

it is a sunday. the sun is shining. there are around 10 minutes between calls. and they wont let us go home! how unfair?! i mean, its not like they need us here!

Speedway

czechoslovakian speedway grand prix in prague yesterday - it was rather good... even tho i had to watch it from the comfort of my armchair! for once, a british sportsman we can be proud of - scottie nicholls being the highest point scorer of the night with 14 points. if you consider however that the winner of the grand prix scored 11 points throughout the meeting, it kinda shows how unfair speedway can be! still an excellent ride from scottie, and lee richardson looked like he might do something for once - and then my hopes were dashed. dont know what was going on with greg hancoc. he seriously needs to get his act together! great racing overall though...

Totty

anyone who knows me knows how much i fancy the pants off charlie simpson, ex-lead singer of busted, now lead singer of fightstar. on my way to work today, i swear i saw his double! he was shorter and didnt have bushy eyebrows but was still bloody gorgeous! i was going up an escalator at the time nearly fell back down it....

Mr Sandman.... Update!

he got his leg over! so he is no longer driving me mad! and he's in a good mood! thank christ....

my housemate drawing in her own blood on her own leg! nice

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhh!

sorry just needed to scream. cant do it aloud in a busy call centre! more's the pity...

Im So Lonely...

at work. finishing at 10pm. and everyone on my team has left me! bastards. ah well, i have no-one to complain about what i play on my ipod. or what volume i have it on. although is that really so much fun? because i have no-one to piss off now! i could try and annoy the customers with it i suppose... damn im talking to myself again! really must stop that people are going to think im going mad.... oops too late!

Mr Sandman

for my sins, he is a work colleague of mine. he is driving me up the wall today! he was gonna get his leg over last night but decided he was gonna be a gentleman (!!!!) and not take things further on the first date. however he is planning to "do the right thing" tonight, so hopefully he will have calmed down by tomorrow. i say roll on tonight! dunno how much longer i can put up with him...

Insects

huuuuuuuuuuuge pet hate of mine! the one reason i dont like summer. im v scared of things that fly (including birds!) so am constantly tormented by bees and wasps. hate spiders - one crawled across my pc screen at work and i just froze!

Three Bands

fightstar. two words - charlie simpson! so gorgeous. also great music loving the new tune "paint your target". i know where i'd paint mine....
beck. new single which ive forgotten the name of is so cool! thought epro was genius but this surpasses it. buy the album (guero),
the used - all tthat ive got. kinda reminds me of my chemical romance. although the only reason anyones ever heard of them is because burt dated kelly osbourne...nah thats harsh good band cool video

The Summer of Love

dunno what it is round here at the moment, but everyone is getting some! dunno if its hormones, hot weather, love dust... mind you, im not complaining! everyone is really happy (including me - thank god! its been a month). had to end a "relationship" tho. the guy was a commitment freak whereas im a commitment phobe! ah well - he left his jacket behind which is french connection! so guess i didnt get too bad a deal ; )

Drinking to forget

word of advice - this is a bad idea! especially when you drink for 6 days in a row and end up crying into the sink while listening to westlife because all of your emotions have caught up with you and you finally have to deal with them....

Live 8

i watched this all day! thought it was amazing. although one of my good friends did make a rather valid point - all the best acts were in london, everywhere else got all the shit! with the exception of greenday who ended up in berlin. still, guess that pleased the germans - there's nothing like americans taking the piss out of their own country who the germans also hate! yikes. for the most part, the performances were v disappointing. it would appear that so many people mime these days they have forgotten how to sing live! there were only 3 acts who i could barely fault - the killers, velvet revolver and robbie williams. the killers did one song but were still amazing (and jimmy carr was right - they looked so cool! and no stains haha). velevet revolver rock and robbie williams is just a great entertainer. still, it was all for a good cause, so well done to all involved at the end of the day