Office Slang

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an office or work group. “I dunno, ask Rick. He’s our alpha geek.”

Assmosis - The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

Batmobiling - putting up emotional shields. Refers to the retracting armor that covers the Batmobile as in “she started talking marriage and he started batmobiling”

Beepilepsy - The brief siezure people sometimes suffer when their beepers go off, especially in vibrator mode. Characterized by physical spasms, goofy facial expressions, and stopping speech in mid-sentence.

Blamestorming - A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Keyboard Plaque - The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people’s computer keyboards.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, shits over everything and then leaves.