Story Time!

this afternoon, myself and jon played the story game - one person makes up a line for a story, the other person adds the next line, and so on and so forth. here is the result of our hard work (lol!), entitled "Shrek 3 : The Porn Movie".....

in a castle on a hill, there lived a princess with a very big problem. she had two heads! how was she to persuade a handsome prince that she was worthy of marriage? so she sat in her castle, thinking about how to resolve her problem. one day, she came up with a solution. 'I know' she thought. 'Maybe I should go and see the witch that lives in the woods'.

so, at midnight, when everyone was asleep, she crept out of the castle and headed for the woods. on her way there, she heard a rustling in the bushes. She felt her heart stop for a moment. she knelt down to see what was there and found the witch's pet ferret, Sid. he said "fuck me sideways! you've got 2 heads!", and he looked at her with a mixture of fear and intrigue. the princess said "fuck me! you're a foul mouthed little chap aren't you? im looking for the old hag, is she home?". "fuck you? with those heads? actually..... anyway, you'd be foulmouthed too if you had to live with that foul smelling wench. i'll take you to her".

so sid took her to the witch's house, where the princess fainted at the shock of the strong smell. when she came around, the most beautiful woman she had ever seen was standing over her. she said "i am your fairy godmother" said the beautiful woman, whose name was Malodorous Molly. She continued " i thought i heard your dulcet tones" she said to the princess. "i've heard your plight. here's how i can help you...."

"in the hills, there lives an ogre" she continued. "and he has a similar problem to you. when you see him, you will know what to do". so the princess returned to the castle, packed her bags, and began the long walk to the distant hills. on her way, she encountered sid again, who said "oi bitch! you're going the wrong way! follow me". after 3 days of travelling. they neared the ogre's cave in the hills.

the princess asked sid "do i look ok? hows my hair?". sid replied "for fuck's sake, its an ogre, and your hairs look fine you dozy bint. now get in there and see what's what!". so the princess went into the cave, and screamed loudly. "oh my god!" she said. "you've got 2 penises!". the ogre said "yes, yes i have, and an ancient prophecy says that the only one that can break my curse (?) is a woman with two heads". "i wonder, could that have been me?" she said.

the ogre replied " i hope so, its been so long since i was a handsome, wealthy prince that i feared i would never meet the one who might free me. did you come here with a foul mouthed ferret?". "if you mean sid, then thats correct. why?" she said. "that was the proof i needed, for the prophecy spoke of a two-headed woman who would be led here by a foul-mouthed ferret named sid. it must be you!" he said, and smiled widely. " and what did the prophecy say i need to do?" she said.

"well its a little personal..." he said, at which point sid shouted in. "he wants you to suck his cocks!". the princess said " oh no! i dont do bestiality". to which sid replied " no his penises you silly tart". the princess said "oh! and is that what the prophecy says mr ogre?". and the ogre said "yes ma'am. get on your knees!". so the princess knelt down and began to suck. then, a strange thing began to happen... the princess noticed that one of the ogre's penises had begun to shrink. at the same time, she could feel one of her heads getting smaller.

sid looked on and said "golly gosh! i think its working. and i cant seem to swear anymore - whats with that?". suddenly, malodorous molly reappeared. "yes sid. because you see, the curse didnt just affect the prince and princess". sid noticed that molly didnt smell anymore, and he could feel a strange thing happening to him too. his body was changing! his fur was getting thinner, his whiskers shorter. "yes sid" said the fairy godmother. " the ogre isnt the only one who used to be a handsome prince..."

"blimey!" said sid, and he noticed that the ogre was now a dashing prince just like him. "you know molly, ive always had a soft spot for you". "i'd say it was rather a hard spot actually" she said, looking at the impressive bulge in his trousers. "well yeah, that too!" he said with a wolfish grin. with that, he whisked her off to the plush hotel that just happened to be situated a mere mile away.

left alone, the princess and the ogre looked into each other's eyes, and the ogre ( who of course was now a very handsome prince) , said " im not quite sure if that curse has been totally lifted you know". " cheeky!" said the princess, winking and kneeling before him once more....

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER!

THE END