the day today quotes
MORRIS: Is that worth six months of your time?
BREEN: Well I think it is-
MORRIS: I don't think it is at all! I think the only reason you've done it is to make yourself look important! How dare you come on this programme and say "Hey look at me, I'm raising fifteen hundred pounds for the homeless"! You could make more money sitting outside a tube station with your hat on the ground even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed!
MORRIS: Let's see if we can nail this down in terms of this elastic band. [Produces one and twangs on it.] Would you like to see the law tightened up to this tightness, tightness number two, or tightness number three?
MAN: Tightness number three.
MORRIS: Tightness number three. Like this? [Twangs the band again.]
MAN: Yes. I think we've really got to hammer these guys.
MORRIS: So that tightness being an average Post Office band extended over about eight inches?
MAN: Yes, I think so.
MARINER: Yeah, yeah, it wasn't a good performance. I'm going to take a shower now, all right? Thank you.
[He heads for the showers. Partridge follows him.]
PARTRIDGE: Are you going to wash away the stain of defeat?
MARINER: Er, yeah, yeah. Get clean now, and look on to the rest of the season.
PARTRIDGE: But when you get home and go to bed with your wife, and she gets a look at your body and says "Bob, remove the stain", will you remove it?
MARINER: I'm not married, Alan.
PRIEST: In whose voice do you wish justice to be done?
BAXTER: Martin Sheen.
PRIEST: Thank you very much. You may proceed.
POPPSHED: Thanks, Chris. Quick roundup of today's gayness, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48(M), they're all gay as of midnight tonight. The gay elements are potassium, zinc, hydrogen, copper and argon. Quick look at the world's walls - the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall Of China, that's not gay, and the Old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next, they're the same as last night - all Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985, they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally, the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. Chris.
BREEN: Well I think it is-
MORRIS: I don't think it is at all! I think the only reason you've done it is to make yourself look important! How dare you come on this programme and say "Hey look at me, I'm raising fifteen hundred pounds for the homeless"! You could make more money sitting outside a tube station with your hat on the ground even if you were twice as ugly as you are, which is very ugly indeed!
MORRIS: Let's see if we can nail this down in terms of this elastic band. [Produces one and twangs on it.] Would you like to see the law tightened up to this tightness, tightness number two, or tightness number three?
MAN: Tightness number three.
MORRIS: Tightness number three. Like this? [Twangs the band again.]
MAN: Yes. I think we've really got to hammer these guys.
MORRIS: So that tightness being an average Post Office band extended over about eight inches?
MAN: Yes, I think so.
MARINER: Yeah, yeah, it wasn't a good performance. I'm going to take a shower now, all right? Thank you.
[He heads for the showers. Partridge follows him.]
PARTRIDGE: Are you going to wash away the stain of defeat?
MARINER: Er, yeah, yeah. Get clean now, and look on to the rest of the season.
PARTRIDGE: But when you get home and go to bed with your wife, and she gets a look at your body and says "Bob, remove the stain", will you remove it?
MARINER: I'm not married, Alan.
PRIEST: In whose voice do you wish justice to be done?
BAXTER: Martin Sheen.
PRIEST: Thank you very much. You may proceed.
POPPSHED: Thanks, Chris. Quick roundup of today's gayness, starting with the roads. The M70, the A3, the B664 and the A48(M), they're all gay as of midnight tonight. The gay elements are potassium, zinc, hydrogen, copper and argon. Quick look at the world's walls - the Wailing Wall is gay, Hadrian's Wall is very gay, the Great Wall Of China, that's not gay, and the Old London Wall has also stopped being gay. Gay cars next, they're the same as last night - all Volkswagens registered between 1982 and 1985, they stay gay for another fortnight. And finally, the gay seas are the Caspian and the Mediterranean, so see you there. Chris.
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